Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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