I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
