No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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