Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
