it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize