I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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