So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
wow bdsm is so cute
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
