Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes

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(908): wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes http://tfl.nu/2bzs

Replies (59) Good night (744) Bad night (5169)
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(631): View more from New York

Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?

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(631): Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out? http://tfl.nu/nikk

Replies (87) Good night (818) Bad night (5975)
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(925): View more from California

just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.

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(925): just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck. http://tfl.nu/ybk3

Replies (61) Good night (4090) Bad night (1312)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it

(651): View more from Minnesota

nevermind its newpaper

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(651): theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it (651): nevermind its newpaper http://tfl.nu/18ms

Replies (29) Good night (5613) Bad night (1049)
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(703): View more from Virginia

its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out

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(703): its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out http://tfl.nu/sd1u

Replies (22) Good night (693) Bad night (5229)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?

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(709): so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much? http://tfl.nu/jwju

Replies (23) Good night (7316) Bad night (1145)
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(712): View more from Iowa

I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga

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(712): I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga http://tfl.nu/ngoq

Replies (10) Good night (4780) Bad night (1493)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up

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(502): I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up http://tfl.nu/gsij

Replies (27) Good night (7671) Bad night (863)
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(210): View more from Texas

i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue

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(210): i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue http://tfl.nu/p7ux

Replies (5) Good night (4569) Bad night (1046)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.

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(306): It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story. http://tfl.nu/6m1s

Replies (14) Good night (1201) Bad night (3007)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

You know, be my cock's hype man.

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(732): You know, be my cock's hype man. http://tfl.nu/5yns

Replies (3) Good night (2686) Bad night (915)
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(443): View more from Maryland

My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.

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(443): My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love. http://tfl.nu/12sb

Replies (8) Good night (3728) Bad night (729)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am

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(602): I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am http://tfl.nu/mg4n

Replies (4) Good night (699) Bad night (1080)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick

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(774): stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick http://tfl.nu/dnwu

Replies (10) Good night (1913) Bad night (715)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!

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(843): Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs! http://tfl.nu/zm1r

Replies (0) Good night (463) Bad night (364)

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