Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  i dont think thats weird i think thats fun

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird

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  (401): he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places. (1-401): i dont think thats weird i think thats fun (401): i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird http://tfl.nu/88jj
  Replies (11) Good night (737) Bad night (2144)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.

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  (515): once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window. http://tfl.nu/ziko
  Replies (8) Good night (3545) Bad night (698)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.

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  (305): I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him. http://tfl.nu/ngz7
  Replies (19) Good night (879) Bad night (4539)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She saved the condom from the first time we did it.

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  (917): She saved the condom from the first time we did it. http://tfl.nu/b22a
  Replies (89) Good night (1928) Bad night (26453)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.

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  (205): I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine. http://tfl.nu/wlnl
  Replies (50) Good night (2507) Bad night (7919)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.

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  (978): I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver. http://tfl.nu/zig6
  Replies (6) Good night (1171) Bad night (2274)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.

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  (403): I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally. http://tfl.nu/1q5b
  Replies (4) Good night (1359) Bad night (1083)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?

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  (865): I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say? http://tfl.nu/q9jp
  Replies (8) Good night (719) Bad night (1067)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.

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  (610): Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life. http://tfl.nu/zjcc
  Replies (5) Good night (1465) Bad night (475)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out

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  (732): Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out http://tfl.nu/mgiw
  Replies (10) Good night (1502) Bad night (590)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.

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  (269): When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor. http://tfl.nu/zxit
  Replies (3) Good night (1187) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.

  (817): View more from Texas

  Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".

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  (817): Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender. (817): Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii". http://tfl.nu/6w6n
  Replies (2) Good night (546) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.

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  (630): dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times. http://tfl.nu/etvm
  Replies (3) Good night (667) Bad night (453)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?

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  (612): The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened? http://tfl.nu/olcd
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.

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  (662): She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER. http://tfl.nu/ip4a
  Replies (5) Good night (317) Bad night (711)

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