Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.

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  (949): Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old (503): You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24. http://tfl.nu/2eqo
  Replies (7) Good night (756) Bad night (1083)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.

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  (217): What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light. http://tfl.nu/5lx0
  Replies (34) Good night (2082) Bad night (656)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  i was rollin on her like bob the builder

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  (318): i was rollin on her like bob the builder http://tfl.nu/6lwa
  Replies (3) Good night (2406) Bad night (561)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.

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  (940): You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have. http://tfl.nu/bqro
  Replies (15) Good night (1209) Bad night (2574)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...

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  (203): i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room... http://tfl.nu/dscd
  Replies (17) Good night (698) Bad night (8109)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.

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  (585): Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/iu2u
  Replies (33) Good night (3790) Bad night (1189)
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  (714): View more from California

  we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.

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  (714): we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career. http://tfl.nu/cw5m
  Replies (18) Good night (791) Bad night (3778)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.

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  (646): He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/8o9v
  Replies (11) Good night (3404) Bad night (1882)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.

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  (281): and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst. http://tfl.nu/n2zz
  Replies (6) Good night (2941) Bad night (875)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.

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  (863): oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows. http://tfl.nu/dnld
  Replies (14) Good night (1298) Bad night (2981)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon

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  (720): Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon http://tfl.nu/1u8n
  Replies (12) Good night (4061) Bad night (925)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I can't see you

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche

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  (847): I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers (847): I can't see you (847): I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche http://tfl.nu/kp05
  Replies (4) Good night (2574) Bad night (607)
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  (760): View more from California

  I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.

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  (760): I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day. http://tfl.nu/8ipd
  Replies (4) Good night (3123) Bad night (703)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf

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  (425): Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf http://tfl.nu/epw3
  Replies (4) Good night (363) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.

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  (403): Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull. http://tfl.nu/z0zm
  Replies (1) Good night (310) Bad night (345)

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