He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so explain again why im purple
no
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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