hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
