found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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