What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize