btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
