Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
