My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
