Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it was like eating out sand paper
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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