wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
