Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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