Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
