great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
