I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
