My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize