Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
