i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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