Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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