I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Randomize
