I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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