For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
