I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
