I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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