No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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