I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
