saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize