I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
