Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
