u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
