i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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