I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
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He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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