Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
