Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
