is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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