I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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