Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
