I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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