My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I got inside last night via doggy door
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
