She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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