I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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