Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
tell me about the fingering
Randomize