addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
