Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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