the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize