just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
