i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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