He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
