yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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