I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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