i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
