"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
