I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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