well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
