also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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